A man with a black beard and glasses looks over an A-frame sign showing the letter A and a musical note.

A Note

Although these notes are based on real conversations, they have been stylised for illustrative purposes.

so tired

not lazy

♥

listen to my body

be kind

hot nights

the change

rest ≠ weak

i am not

Monday

Women’s Night

theme: menopause, lack of energy, and not feeling like one’s younger self

talked about:

waking up tired, after a full night’s sleep
the frustration of having less energy versus demands
how easy it is to call yourself lazy when your body is actually asking for care

the vibe: honest, if not a little raw. There was relief when someone said the hardest part wasn’t just the tiredness, but having to explain it to people who think rest fixes everything.

outcome: we talked about lowering our expectations without lowering our self-worth. Self-kindness. Less pretending we can run on empty.

key takeaway: you are not failing because you have less energy. Your body is changing, and it deserves to be believed.

next time: take another look at sleep, brain fog, and feeling out of step with the person you used to be.

A man with a black beard and glasses sits on a brown rock writing in a white notebook with a blue pen.

what is real

too loud

...

breathe

act normal

they can off

translate

who’s real?

unmask

Tuesday

Neurodiversity Group

theme: The Art of Masking

talked about:

the daily act of seeming calm, sociable, organised, or interested when your mind is working twice as hard underneath
copying other people’s faces, tone, timing, and jokes, so nobody notices you are struggling
the exhaustion of masking all day, then finally getting home and taking your mask off

the vibe: great as always. We discussed the feeling of being praised by others for coping, when all we were really doing was hiding.

outcome: we named places where the mask feels defensive, and ways to let it all flow without feeling exposed.

key takeaway: masking can keep you safe, but it should never be mistaken for being all right.

next time: come back to the fallout after masking, and how to ask for understanding before you reach burnout.

A man with a black beard and glasses in a dark suit sits on a brown briefcase writing in a white notebook.

tell them to

let go

→

not failure

family

money

keep going

blank page :-|

are they serious

Wednesday

Moving On

theme: when to quit your job

talked about:

leaving jobs
when not to leave your job
the fear of the unknown after quitting

the vibe: no holding back. A few of the group were locked into their jobs out of financial need.

outcome: we wrote down that change does not come without pain.

statement of the day: you can want to leave a job without hating it.

next time: starting again, and the temptation to stay put.

A man in a yellow souwester and hat stands on the gallery of a blue lighthouse holding a lit lantern.

home alone

what’s for dinner

oxo

stay

one step

still here

hello

just say it

connect

Thursday

Loneliness Group

theme: being alone at home

talked about:

rooms full of people where nobody talks to you
why loneliness can be hard to admit
contact, connection, and the ache of not being heard

the vibe: tender. Slow. Nobody rushed to fix anyone, which may have been the useful thing.

outcome: each person chose one tiny act of contact. A message. A walk. A hello. A reason not to vanish for another week.

revelation: loneliness is not proof that you are unwanted. Sometimes it means you have gone too long without being met.

next time: trust, and why reaching out can still feel risky when you need people.

Eric, with dark hair, a full beard and round glasses, sits on a brown trunk writing in a notebook with a black pen.

nurtured

good enough

pain

siblings

what stayed at home

abuse

who raised you?

repair

where was the manual

Friday

Philosophical Campfire

theme: parents, childhood, and what it means to have a good upbringing

talked about:

whether a “good childhood” means being happy all the time, or whether it means being given enough safety, love, and steadiness to become yourself later
the difference between parents who meant well and parents who were actually able to give what a child needed
how long we keep explaining our parents to ourselves, and when understanding them stops being the same as excusing everything

the vibe: a vulnerable excitement amongst the group. We kept coming back to the phrase “it was all right.” No such thing as perfect parents. Not perfect homes. But warmth, listening, and mopping up after things went wrong.

outcome: we did not try to put anyone’s childhood into a box marked good or bad. A home can contain love and fear, humour, loyalty, and pain, all under the same roof. The harder question was what we are allowed to say now, as adults, about what was missing then.

key takeaway: a good upbringing may not be one where nothing went wrong, but one where a child was allowed to feel real, wanted, and safe enough to grow. What did we receive versus what did we need? And what are we still carrying?

next time: inheritance, not only money or objects, but the habits, fears, phrases, loyalties, and unfinished arguments that families pass down without meaning to.